Sick

We are sick, sick, and sick.  With pink eye! Head colds!  Sore throats! Coughs!  And a small bit of vomiting! A one stop shop for your basic grossness.  Somehow Husband has escaped everything (even pink eye, which is pretty unbelievable).  Hopefully by tomorrow we will no longer be contagious.  So, tomorrow we will burn down our house since it will be impossible to clean it (kidding).  Anyone know of a magic spell to clean a biological war zone?  If so, I’ll need it by tomorrow.

Siblings

Two Birthdays and a Christmas

I know the girl is sneaky, because I didn’t catch the days or weeks when she changed from a toddler to a little girl.  She turned four in December, which I believe to be impossible.  There is no way my baby girl could be four.  Tomorrow she’ll be 18 and deciding on college (at least, that is what the Hubby says to torment me).  Honestly, I love who she was, who she is, and who I see her becoming.  She is joyful, kind, and loves babies and learning.  She amazes me with all she knows.  And although it is true that I miss her as a toddler, I love this age too.  She can’t wait to grow up and I hope to slowly savor each moment (except those whiny moments – we can fly through those).  She celebrated, and celebrated, and celebrated her birthday.  She had a family/adult friends party, a friend party, and some random gift opening events.

Aren’t her friends adorable?!?  Seriously adorable.

Titus enjoyed the celebrations too.  The more (food), the merrier!

We also got to celebrate Jesus’ birthday with some friends.  It was great fun.  The kids “acted” out the Christmas story.  Sunita decided to be the angel Gabriel.

I think the sword adds some depth to the character.

Titus was a wise man.  He had no problem pulling that off.  And by pulling that off, I mean the costume.

I love this picture of Sunita and her friend.  “Mary” and “Angel Gabriel”.   These girls are peas in a pod, except for anything you can see on the outside.

We celebrated Christmas with my family this year and lodged in a rustic cabin near Mt. Hood.  My parents and brothers split a house in the same village.  The kids loved the bunk beds.  If Sunita would stay in bed at nights we would love to do this in our house.

We let the kids use headlamps to look at books before bed.  Sunita fell asleep with her light shining right in her face.  For being such an easy kid to get to sleep, she sure doesn’t stay that way.  Titus is back to being a champion sleeper (still using melatonin).  I love, love, love his rosy cheeks.  They are ridiculously, comically, red when he just wakes up.

This was the kids’ first look at the stockings.  I love Titus’ face.

Titus immediately turned his candy cane into a gun.  I’m sure every guy that reads this is saying “duh”, but for me it continues to surprise me how many things are weapons when placed into a little boy’s hands (at least my little boy).

Sunita’s big gift from us was a guitar.  She had been asking and asking for one.  Unfortunately, Jared and I are clueless about guitars.  I guess we get to learn something new, too.

This was a very cool treat for the kids.  My brother is working with a retired army man who gave him an old flight helmet.  The kids didn’t want it on themselves, but loved having other people put it on.

We celebrated Christmas a second time with Jared’s parents and had more random gift opening events throughout the season.  Our fall/winter season is loaded.  We do Halloween, my birthday, Jared’s birthday, Beach weekend, Sunita’s birthday, Christmas, and New Years.  It’s like a party every other week.  Our kids are going to love when Halloween hits every year – it’s only the beginning of candy, gifts, and hopefully, most importantly, gatherings of all the people they love.

Thanks

Dad (to Sunita before bed): “What do you want to pray for tonight?”

Sunita: “Dinosaurs.”

Dad: “Uhhh… I’m not sure how to pray for those.”

Sunita: [Begins to pray] “Thank you God for dinosaurs, and animals, and stuff. Amen.”

Dad: “Well, OK then…”

my thanks

#81 good food, good fun, awesome family

#82 the big kids – my nephew and niece are a lot of fun to be around

#83 free doughnuts

#84 first peppermint mocha of the season

#85 teamwork with husband in strategic shopping for black friday

#86 popcorn and a christmas movie

#87 time spent laughing with husband

#88 running into friends while shopping

#89 hilarious conversations about santa, husbands, and families with sunita

#90 kisses on the hand from prince titus

Melatonin, Muscles, and Moving Forward

Last night we tried melatonin again with Titus.  We used it with him when we came home, but had quit because he didn’t seem to need it any longer.  We were wrong, we still need it, even if he doesn’t.  He fell asleep and stayed asleep much of the night.  He woke up and 4:30 and came out of his room and started to play with the toys that make noise right outside our bedroom door.  I had him come to bed with us and he slept the rest of the night.  Hallelujah!  Thank you all for your prayers.

Also, we finally have all of Titus’ first doctor appointments finished.  It appears he does have torticollis, which is a shortened muscle in his neck.  So we will be doing physical therapy with him for about 6 months and see how it goes.  Surgery is an option if the physical therapy doesn’t work.

Hopefully now we can start to return to more normal sleeping patterns and take a break from scary doctor visits.  They are really hard on the poor boy and it will be nice to have a little respite.

thanks

#71 for a husband who brings me water

#72 melatonin

#73 friends who drop by with coffee

#74 hugs from a brother to a sister

#75 a clean house, with clean sheets

#76 for friday pizza night

#77 for popcorn

#78 a long snuggle from titus after nap

#79 a friend who dropped by dressed up as paper bag princess

#80 sleeping kids!

I’m Not Enough

It turns out I am not enough to fix my kids.  I don’t have enough love or enough tools to heal their inside hurts. I can only sit humbly and thankfully at the feet of Jesus  knowing His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my brokenness.

Titus has started sleeping poorly.  I had a melt down, verge of crazy-town, ugly cry during the night.  (That’s normal, right?)  I CANNOT do this again.  I can’t have a poor sleeper again.  My body CANNOT take it.  I tried to tell God.  I tried to bargain and plead and literally cry out.  I’m at the end of my no-sleep rope.  I do not know where to go from here.  He has been with us for 5 weeks.  Often after adopted kids are home and settled then the grief begins to show.  I think he is showing his grief and I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT.  I don’t know how to help my poor teary kids who don’t sleep.  We have routines.  We don’t watch TV or play rowdy games before bed.  We do bath and books and bed like clockwork.  We don’t have lights on.  We have sound blockers.  We have tried OTC drugs, herbal supplements, and even surgery (tonsillectomy for Sunita).  Still my babies cry out in the night for comfort and sometimes more than once an hour.  I don’t know how I’m going to do this nightly routine again with another child unless through the grace of God.  I honestly can’t see a path before me, but I trust in the One who can heal my kids, even while I fall shockingly short.

Also, lately, Sunita has been asking to go live with her Indian mom, or at least her Indian caretaker.  I’m ashamed to say, I’ve been irritated and annoyed by this (and even, although it horrifies me to admit it, thinking how she should count herself lucky to have a family).  It bothers me in a way I never expected it would.  That is, it did bother me, until I remembered that in a perfect world she would be with her biological family.  And although I believe God blessed us by choosing us to be her family, it isn’t part of a perfect world, but a fallen one.  Sunita’s heart doesn’t love me less because she thinks about and hopes for what God’s original plan would have given her.  And I know she wouldn’t trade me for anyone else, only that she is curious and wants to know the person who gave her life.  I am thankful God is big enough to handle this too, because Heaven knows I’ve fallen short (again! sheesh! get it together girl!).  I am so sure of His great love to my children that I know He will give me all I need to be a broken, yet beautiful mother to them.

It is amazing to be so broken, so fallen, so “not enough” and to know the Lord of the Earth is enough, and for all of us.

All Dressed Up

Sadly for me, I had to work on Halloween.  The fierce and terrible (well, terribly adorable) lion and fairy got to trick or treat with their dad.  I didn’t ask how much candy he let them eat.  I did dress them up and paint their faces before I left for work, because yes, I can be that uptight.  And I really, really, really wanted to see them trick or treat.  Did I mention this is my son’s first holiday?

Dad did have to repaint their faces.  I didn’t include a lion “after”, so as not to shame my husband (who am I kidding – not to shame myself!).  But I actually liked his paint job on the girl better.  Don’t I have an amazing husband?  One, he put face paint on the kids.  Two, he used glitter.  Three, he put make-up on a girl.  And don’t let her age/size fool you.  She is a girl and knows what looks “pretty”.

Monkeys

These are “my” monkeys.  Okay, technically the little guy in the middle isn’t part of our family.  But since I’ve been watching him since he was six months old, he feels like he is.

Cuuuute!

Aren’t they silly?

And did I already say cute?!?

Of course we had to do this one.

Peek-a-boo!

thanks

#61 we are settling into a normal routine

#62 enjoying 3! toddlers

#63 lovely neighbors and friends

#64 titus sleeps through the night!

#65 a beautiful fall

#66 husband-made coffee this morning

#67 pumpkins lining the front of the house

# 68 my little helper in the kitchen helping make gingerbread “men”

#69 a husband who teaches our children to respect me

#70 kids who eat (mostly) what’s put in front of them

I Love Fall

Prepping for Alzheimer’s

Can you identify the object to the left of my hand?

It’s on my windshield/hood while I’m driving down the highway at 50 mph.

Have you guessed yet?

Yep.  It’s a used diaper.  A stinky, rotten, did-not-want-to-leave-it-in-the-store-or-put-it-in-the-van kind of diaper.  So, I thought to my mature, focused, highly intelligent self that I would put it on my hood where I was sure to see it when I left the store and would, without a doubt, remember to drop it in a dumpster.  And even if by some chance, I forgot that it was there, I figured there was NO WAY I would miss it, located right in my line of sight.  I am not usually like this.  Although don’t ask my husband if that is true, or any close friends, or anyone who remotely knows me.  Also, this is not at all like the hot mitt incident.